Bapa pukul anak kerana nak pakai tudung..

from (Roy)
to "x-snt@yahoogroups.com"
date Mon, Mar 29, 2010 at 3:11 PM
subject [x-snt] Bapa Pukul Anak Kerana Anak Nak Pakai Tudung

Apalah nak jadi dgn dunia sekarang nie…..hemmmmmm

============================================================
Sadis betul...

Aku mengeliat sepuas puasnya. Nasib baik takder siapa nampak cara aku mengeliat. Mahu jatuh saham aku huhu.

Tiba tiba aku teringat kisah semalam. Airmata terus berlinang. Terasa amat sayu dan sedih. Salah ke kalau aku nak pakai tudung? Naper abah takbenarkan? Buat pengetahuan korang, bapak aku ni jenis orang yang sibuk giler. Businessman yang sentiasa sibuk. Mak aku dah takder. Meninggal dunia lama dah. Sedih sangat sangat.

Dari jendela, kelihatan cahaya matahari mula menjeluskan diri ke celah celah langsir tingkap. Jam dah 11:00 pagi. Perut lapar.

Aku bangun capai tuala, masuk bilek mandi.

Lepas mandi, aku belek belek tubuhku pada cermin. Alangkah lebih cantik kalau aku bertudung. Aku nekad! Aku akan protes habis habisan kalau bapa aku tak nak juga bagi pakai tudung. Aku sanggup lari dari rumah. Demi kebaikan yang aku pilih. Lantak la dengan ahli keluarga aku yang lain lain. Semuanya tak nak pakai tudung! Tapi aku nak!!!!

Aku turun ke bawah. Baru jea nak buka tudung saji atas meja, terdengar bunyi kereta masuk garaj. Aku jenguk melalui tingkap dan nampak bapa aku balik. Aikkkk, apahal bapa balik awal ni???

Dalam masa yang sama, aku rasa inilah masa yang terbaik untuk desak bapa aku benarkan aku pakai tudung. Now or never!

Bila bapa aku buka jea pintu, aku bersalam dengannya dan tanpa lengahkan masa, aku kata, ""Daddy, cheq nak pakai tudung. Cheq nak!"

Bapak aku terus jegil sebesar besarnya. Macam ada api keluar! Panggggggggggggggggggg. Bapa aku hayun penampar ke muka aku! Tersepok aku di celah set sofa.

"Aduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... sampai hati daddy! Cheq tau la daddy rasa malu kalau cheq pakai tudung. Salah ke kalau cheq nak tutup aurat cheq? Kalau adik dan abg tak nak...."

Pangggggggggggggggggggg....! Bapaku labuh pelempang ke muka aku sekali lagi sebelum aku abis bercakap.

"Hang jangan nak bagi aku malu naaaa! Hang jangan nak buat pasai! Hang nak pakai tudung buat apa??? Dah 100 kali aku habaq, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG, LELAKI TAK PAYAH PAKAI TUDUNG!!! Tu la, bila time kelas agama, hang ponteng! Nama hang aku boh "Razali", tup tup lekat jadi ZAZA sahaja! Memang la dalam rumah ni semuanya tak bertudung sebab adik hang tu lelaki! Abang hang pun lelaki jugak!".

Aku yang tersepuk celah sofa, terus menangis terkedu kedu. Dah la sakit kena tampar, kena pelempang. Tudung pun tak dapat jugak.

SALAH KAH AKU? SALAH KAH AKUUUUUUUU! OOOOO tidakkkkkkkkkkkkk!

Top joke around the world

On Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 11:13 PM, Nicky Yaya wrote:

Top Joke in Australia

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''

The young man again brought three more names to his father but ended up frustrated because the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''

His mother smiling said to him, ''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son.


Top Joke in Northern Ireland

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient.
'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.


Top Joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!'
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'
The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead,
I'll hold your monkey for you.


Top Joke in USA

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.'

The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'


Top Joke in England

Two weasels are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says, 'Go home dad you're drunk.'

THE MALAYSIAN IN LONDON

From: Zulkillah B Abdullah
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2009 1:38 PM
Subject: THE MALAYSIAN IN LONDON


THE MALAYSIAN IN LONDON

Sazzam, a 'young' Malaysian tourist on his first visit to London, locates the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!

Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "No!" and walks away quickly.

The madam is surprised that this ordinary-looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with it. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola looks a bit tired, but she has never said no and it doesn't seem likely that anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Sazzam... They sit and talk, frolic a little, ! giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!", smacks him as hard as she can, and literally runs away too!

Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she did it for many years before she got into management. She's sure she has said yes at one time or another to everything a man could possibly ask for. The challenge is irresistible. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. And she sees a chance she can't pass up to show off to her employees how good she was at what they do.

So she goes over to Sazzam and says that she's the best in the house and she, herself, is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic a bit, giggle a bit, drink a little, and she sits in his lap. And then Sazzam leans forward and whispers! in her ear, .......... "Can I pay in Malaysian Ringgit?"

Sosej dan Lembu

from boonchert
to mrsmbpx84@yahoogroups.com
date Fri, Feb 27, 2009 at 11:25 AM
subject Sosej Dan Lembu

[citer nih takder kena mengena dgn yg hidup walaupun yg mati, jika ada nama sama, hanyalah kebetulan yg disengajakan.. tolong jangan buat report polis..]

Ada kisah seorang anak, aku bagi nama ajim, yang diberi peluang untuk belajar di Amerika untuk dapatkan degree, tapi selepas 15 tahun, x pernah lulus, akhirnya bapak dia, yg nih aku bagi nama zul ayob laa, dah x sanggup lagi tanggung beban wang untuk ajim, terpaksalah zul bawak balik ke Malaysia.

Sepanjang perjalanan dari airport ke rumah, zul diam aje (marah la tu).

Si ajim dah rasa x best, so dia pun cari la idea untuk berbual & tunjuk pada bapak dia yang dia kat Amerika ada gain something la dgn pekembangan teknologi. So ajim ckp dgn bapak dia:

ajim: Bapak tau x, kat Amerika sekarang teknologi dah maju giler. Sekarang nak buat sosej x payah nak sembelih lembu, buang kulit, masuk je lembu dalam machine, dah jadi sosej....

zul ayob: Itu teknologi dah lapuk. Kat Malaysia lagi advance. Aku 32 tahun dulu, masukkan sosej aje dah keluar lembu sekor... menyusahkan plak tu...

Keluhan Suami Isteri

from budakjohor budakbaik
reply-to subcon@yahoogroups.com
date Fri, Feb 27, 2009 at 9:54 AM
subject [subcon] Keluhan Seorang Suami - Isteri


Keluhan seorang SUAMI:

Subuh, mandi nak pergi kerja.
Pagi, naik kereta pergi kerja.
Tengahari, tak payah kerja.
Petang, balik kerja.
Maghrib, tak ada kerja.
Malam, tanya bini bole kerja.
Bangun pagi, penat malam tadi kerja.
Tak sudah-sudah dengan kerja


Keluhan seorang ISTERI:

Subuh basuh kain.
Pagi sidai kain.
Tengahari angkat kain.
Petang lipat kain..
Maghrib susun kain.
Malam BUKA KAIN.
Bangun pagi, hilang kain.
Tak sudah-sudah dengan kain